I am a firm believer that "we are who we are"!
God plants a seed and we grow. Our parents guide us through our childhood years shaping and molding us so that we can make the best of the gift God has given us. And then we become ADULTS! At which point "we are who we are"...there is always room for tweaks to help us through the peaks and valleys of life however at what point do you say I'VE TWEAKED ALL I'M GOING TO TWEAK?
- Is it when you realize that you like who you are?
- Is it when you realize that people in your personal life love you unconditionally?
- Is it when you wake up every day with a smile on your face greeting sunrise with a positive outlook?
- Is it when you know you have overcome obstacles in life by JUST BEING YOU?
I have done all the above! I like who I am...I know people in my personal life love me unconditionally, I smile everyday as I sit on the front porch watching daylight arrive, and I, like most of my family, have overcome obstacles by just being ourselves! My quandary is...
WHY ISN'T THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR OTHERS WHO PASS THROUGH OUR LIVES?
Why are we judged? Why are we made to feel less valuable on a regular basis? Why do people truly want to change who we've worked most of lives to be become? I mean really? If husband, child, parents, and siblings like me the way I am....THEN WHY CAN'T EVERYONE ELSE? Why does every action or reaction have to end with me feeling like I'm fighting for my right to be ME? I'm not immolating anyone! I'm not trying to be anyone that I'm not! I work hard! I take care of my family! I love hard! I laugh hard! And, I smile even though I want to cry most of the time....I take on the stress and worry of others because I feel that my soul is more nurturing than my external persona exposes. If you are down I will hurt myself to make you laugh. If you are hurt I will bandage you. If you feel helpless I will carry you. If you feel like you can't handle any given situation anymore I WILL PRAY AND PRAY HARD for you! So, what's wrong with these attributes? Why at my age am I being "advised" to tweak more? I don't smirk when you walk by...I don't mock you....I don't talk about you to others...I don't smile in your face and walk away talking about you behind your back! I say to you what I would say to others about you...so...
Why aren't you being "advised" to tweak more? Here's what I think...
I think that "who I am" intimidates those around me. It's not an intentional characteristic of mine! I have worked hard to keep my exterior persona strong so that people don't see how mushy I am internally! One lesson I learned throughout my life is that when you put off weakness people take advantage of you! Decisions that I have made through the years, guidance that I have received through the years, and life altering incidents have MADE ME WHO I AM...what's your excuse? Did you miss a life-class? Did you sleep through Sunday School? Do you wake up every morning with the belief that someone owes you something? Because guess what...
I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING! I can respect you...if I'm respected....I work to earn the respect of others...if you feel that I haven't worked hard enough for your respect then step up as an adult and let me know what you think I can do differently....BUT DON'T!! AND I MEAN DON'T!!! Think that in this world of imperfection I'm the only one who needs to "TWEAK" who they are...no one is perfect! And, I'm far from being perfect...the intent of all of the above is not suggest that I'm perfect....it is to YELL OFF THE MOUNTAIN that I AM WHO I AM and that I am sick and tired of changing for people who don't care to take one step towards changing for ME!
I will keep doing what I'm doing! I will TWEAK all that those who love me want me to TWEAK...as for the rest of you selfish, condescending, double-talking, lazy backstabbers I DENOUNCE YOU!
- I DENOUNCE that you have any power to make me someone that God did not intend on me being!
- I DENOUNCE that you have the right to ask me to be someone that my husband, child, parents, and siblings may not like!
- I DENOUNCE that you have any right to bestow your bitter world of negativity on me and my life!
At the end of the day...I can use a softer tone...I can smile a bit bigger....I can breathe a sigh of relief when you are finally put in your place...UNTIL THEN...
GOD IS ABOVE ME...
BELOW ME...
ALL AROUND ME...
I will overcome the challenges I face daily. I will survive what is laid before me...I AM A FIGHTER! I will continue to fight for my right to be WHO I AM...and listen excessively to the motivational song....
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